Saturday, February 09, 2008

Ugly rant- Beware

I'm cranky.
I'm tired, run down and cranky.
This isn't a fun post, sorry.
I scored some good remnants from the bin:
remnant bin therapy
But it didn't do a thing for my disposition.
I got this surprise assortment for next to nothing from fabric.com a few weeks ago:
random assortment therapy
and it barely excited me.
I got this fabric super cheap:
yardage therapy
And all I can think about is how little time I can find to use it.
It's been a rough couple of weeks. Home life has been extremely busy, all of our schedules have been full and we are all on edge lately. I usually love my job but that has been a source of anxiety as well. I only work 5 hours a day but lately I have 8 hours worth of work to do.
Each day I get up at 5:00AM and spend 1 hour by myself; I have coffee, watch tivo'd Martha, check email, etc. Come 6:00AM, it's all about everyone else all day. My function at work is to make everyone's life easier and keep them going in the right direction...so I'm even the mom there! When I'm all done feeding, driving, doing laundry, etc. I sit at my sewing machine at night and try to get a business going because money is a constant issue that stresses me. At 9:00PM I am exhausted and cranky, all I have to look forward to is 5:00AM tomorrow morning. I don't have a day off unless you count Christmas and Easter and I'm not sure what I would do with a day off if I even had one.
I don't know what I think is fun anymore. I am a robot! I'm not trying to say my role is harder than anyone else's, I'm just having a tough time of right now.
I'm sorry to be so negative but I need an outlet and I really shouldn't drink wine at 7:30AM...I wouldn't have time to go to AA meetings if I became an alcoholic.

11 comments:

Kathie said...

I think we all go thru that stage...
don't worry things will get better.
choose a project that your excited about making, choose your favorite fabrics out of the stash and start!
find a 1/2 hr in the afternoon to work on it...
yes being a Mom is a lot of work but rewarding too.
I have learned to have projects for on the go while I wait at school for pick up or tennis or flute lessons or band,
you know the routine...and I am surprised at how much I can get done.
On Sundays I always cook 2 dinners with enough for left overs...
makes one or two nights during the week easier or they get frozen for that night I don't feel like cooking.
Its hard but we all make it thru,
Kathie

IamSusie said...

This is rough, Carol! Maybe there are some places to set some boundaries. People start to rely on us to do everything for them because we let them. The people around us sometimes don't even know realize how overwhelmed we can be.

I got my husband to be responsible for waking up the kids and getting breakfast ready. Go ahead and let some of the tasks go. Laundry can be a family project and maybe someone else can take over a few of those meals. I actually don't really do the laundry until everyone runs out of underwear and socks...

I bet you need a break from crafting for your business too. If you don't feel like doing it, then don't and don't feel guilty! I don't know how old your kids are, but we don't have ours signed up for very many clubs and activities. The schedule gets too hectic, activities are expensive, and we all need quiet time at home.

Hang in there.. winter is getting to everyone I think.

Fiona @ Dragonfly-Crafts said...

So sorry your feeling this way. The fabrics do look great. I'm having a sewing weekend when I should be catching up on some work, I will have to work day and night for the next couple of weeks.
Hope next week gets better for you.

Jada2929 said...

I'm sorry things are feeling yuck right now.
Keep on keeping on and remember things have to get better.
Love,
Amanda

Marietta said...

hey there! i have no words of wisdom as i am a new mom and work in theatre so i am always stressed for money and time.
BUT there are always people out there who apprecciate you even when you feel like they don't...and i know what you mean about not having time for AA :)

floresita said...

Awww Carol, hang in there! I just know you'll make some amazing things with that fabric - maybe you just need a tiny break so it becomes fun to craft again!

Junie Moon said...

The fabrics are all glorious but I am so sorry you're having a rough time with "time." I sometimes have days/weeks/months that make me feel overwhelmed, too. I tend to use those times to purge everything in sight. If it aggravates me, then out to donations; failing that, then it goes in the trash. I actually purged a perfectly good car one time by giving it to my neighbor because I was feeling very cranky and overwhelmed. I'm too weird for words.

Anyway, go ahead and write your cranky feelings out, we'll listen (and probably identify).

KristenMary said...

I'm so sorry! It really is a hard time of year, February is the shortest month but feels like it takes forever! It's not spring, and not really the end of winter. Hopefully you can schedule some "me time" soon, you completely deserve it!! Good luck.

Kelly, Modern June said...

oh my gosh, Carol you crack me up by saying you haven't the time for AA. That is EXACTLY how I feel! Life can really suck! The mommy syndrome, we care for everyone but who cares for us? We love them but we need time to love us too.

This Saturday drink at 7 am! You'll need a nap by 1O but who knows it might release the demons! I am almost joking! I wish you peace. And when you figure out the answer write a book for those of us that can't make it all work all the time.

I often think that is my big problem I can do it all just not in the same day or week. Know what I mean? I can only focus on so much for so long before I shut down and have massive pity party.

My best friend calls it a well placed fit. The kind fit that makes everyone so scared that they all straighten up and are really helpful for an entire week. The kind of fit that gets the entire family out of the house for the whole day.

Drinking and having a scary fit? Wow don't listen to me I give bad advise! I hope this make you smile!

Don't worry winter will end someday!

Kelly, Modern June said...

Smile!

beki said...

I think I could have written this post yesterday. It was a bad day, really bad...and I DID drink ;-)