Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Open letter to all of the idiots that can't merge on I-95

So, you all thought it would be a good idea to have a little fun with me on the highway the other day? Pretending like you never merged onto the highway before, what a hoot!
Balding guy in the pick up truck- you were really great with the hand gestures and yelling, after you nearly killed us both by dropping your speed to 10 MPH after you got in front of me.
Polite older woman in the sedan- have faith and just trust that you indeed can do it. You just accelerate and merge, not crawl and stop. You confused the hell out of everyone around us. Sheesh!
Middle-aged mom in the minivan- Perhaps the kids were on your last nerve, so I will cut you some slack. For the love of all things good, please don’t hesitate when merging. Be assertive and go! You had plenty of time and I was waving you in for crying out loud!
Young, scary thug boy- where on earth do you have to be in such a hurry that warrants you to cut me off and weave in and out of cars. You are a moron and I hope all your tires are flat.
Who was it that sent you all to annoy me? C’mon, you can tell me…I’ve calmed down considerably now and I won’t be mad.
Elderly couple in the middle lane along side of me- I’m terribly sorry if you heard me screaming obscenities, I am PMS’ing something awful and I really couldn’t help it.
Road Raged Carol


Diannia said...

Carol, We've all been there! Traffic stinks sometimes and if it's on a PMS day then it's double bad! I once told my hubby that I felt like I could either cry or kill something. I said I guess I could kill somebody and then cry about it afterwards! He just scooted as far away from me as possible in the front seat of a moving car.

debbie said...

This is why our mother can't drive 95! She has mergeaphobia, but she admits it and stays the hell off 95."The first step is admitting you have a problem" :~

IamSusie said...

When I lived in Texas, people had this weird habit of stopping on the on ramp and waiting until someone let them in. Let me tell you, this is not the way they do it in Chicago... People here don't really believe in the "safe following distance" thing.

Junie Moon said...

Oh my, Carol, you sound like me. I'm pretty even-tempered except on the road. And then I have zero compunction about letting idiot drivers know exactly what I think. My husband worries a lot about what he terms "my impending death" by someone who isn't willing to listen to my point of view.

Mrs.Kwitty said...

ROFL! Oh, I hate the freeway, I feel like I just barely escaped with my life every time I get off of it! lol

Smiles, Karen

Anonymous said...

LOL !!!! We need one around here for round-abouts.....Which lane to go in - stay in - exit in?????
It's not hard.......