Dear kooky neighbor,
You've got to know that you're house is falling apart, right? I mean, do you just not care? You're cement porch is crumbling, You're roof was so bad, the roofers felt bad just slapping on a sixth layer of shingles. Roofers don't really feel bad about much...no offense to roofers but they typically do the job and leave without saying much, I heard these guys arguing with you and saw them shaking their heads. Your chimney is about to blow off the house.
You have birds living under your siding, in your AC, in the eaves. You have squirrels living in your attic!
You make a nice living. You don't pay a mortgage. You received an inheritance. Why do you want to live in this eyesore, fire trap?
Sincerely,
Carol who prays the tree between us doesn't ever come down.
